Shattered Mask
by Lost in the Shadows
Summary: I was a slut. I didn’t deserve to love Rei. I didn’t deserve to be a bladebreaker. I didn’t deserve to live. . . . Contains Rape, Incest, Masochism and Yaoi If ya don't like, then don't read!
1. Haunted Sleep

Max: Hey! I'm so happy you decided to read this! LITS! You have a reader!  
  
LITS: WHERE?! *pulls out binoculars* Yahoo! I thought you'd all ditch my story since I took so long to re make it! Thanks to all you patient reviewers! If you read all five of the chaps last time, you'll recognize some parts from the previous story. Still, there'll be some twists so don't worry, I'll keep ya guessing!!!!  
  
Max: Hmph, yeah right, anyways.I'll do the disclaimer! Lost In The Shadows doesn't own Beyblade! So there! But if you really want to sue someone then sue Adyna. Apparently she has a stash of money hidden-  
  
Adyna: FINISH THAT SENTINCE AND I'LL SCREW YOU FOUR WAYS FROM TUESDAY!!!!!  
  
Max and LITS: *sweatdrop*  
  
LITS: er.is someone a little moody today?  
  
Adyna: NO! *leaves room and slams door behind her*  
  
Max: hehehe.er.anyways, READ AND REVIEW!!!!! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
As soon as I finished the meal I forced myself to sit there. The food made my stomach ache and I couldn't stand much more of this.  
  
"Hey, Max, you okay?" asked Tyson in between bites. I blinked. No, I'm not okay. I want to die so I don't have to live another second of my life in misery.  
  
"Yeah Tyson. I'm fine!" I said with a smile. I don't know if it's possible but I've forgotten what it feels like to really smile. Finally, I excused myself and went to the bathroom. Luckily there was only one bathroom, sink and such included. I stared at my reflection for a moment before turning on the sink. I hated who was staring back at me. I quickly washed my hands then lifted the toilet seat and pushed two of my fingers into the back of my throat. My stomach heaved and my dinner came back up. Tears stung my eyes as I choked slightly and went to the sink to wash my mouth out. As soon as the taste was out of my mouth I went back and thrust my fingers into the back of my throat again. It took another minute before I was done and everything was out. Part of me, a big part, is afraid that the boys will find out. They're the only friends I've ever been able to make. They'll think I have an eating disorder and I'll never be able to look them in the eyes. To tell the truth, I haven't really had to worry about my weight. I have a fast metabolism. It's just. . .I made a mistake once and purging just became a habit. . . along with other things. . .  
  
"Are you alright in there?" called a voice through the door. I quickly flushed the toilet and washed my hands and face.  
  
"Yeah, just a minute!" I opened the door and went back to my seat. ~~~~~~~~  
  
"Sorry you guys, there was a line up." Max said sitting down.  
  
"Don't worry about it, it seems like Tyson's not done eating the restaurant out of business." Said Kenny, watching Tyson. I smiled lightly before taking a sip from my soda to rid my mouth of any after taste that my dinner gave me. ~~~~  
  
Rei's POV  
  
Max's face was slightly flushed and a little bit of hair around his face was wet. Was he sick? I don't remember him ever complaining of feeling sick. or complaining of anything for that matter. I don't think he's sick, but what could be wrong?  
  
"Hey, I'm pretty tired, I'm going to bed." Said Max.  
  
"It's only eight o'clock." I said. Max smiled and shrugged.  
  
"I'm tired. Good night, oh Rei, I'm sharing a room with you, right?" I nodded. I watched Max leave from beneath my bangs. Behind his smile, he looked so sad. I want so badly to hold him close and be there for him but I don't think he'd appreciate it, coming from a boy and all. Maybe someday I'll tell him, but in the mean time, I can dream, can't I?~~~~  
  
It was ten fifteen before we went to bed. I didn't turn on the light, not wanting to wake up Max. I grabbed my night shirt and boxers and got changed before climbing onto the other side of the bed. It had been, what, ten minutes since we came up here and I could already hear Tyson snoring from the room down the hall, poor Kai. I was lucky, Max didn't snore or kick, like Mariah did when we shared beds. I turned to face Max's sleeping form, he looked so innocent, so beautiful. The moonlight that came through the window played upon his golden hair, making it almost glow. He was an angel, my angel. Argh, what am I saying? Chances are he likes Tyson, if he likes boys that is. They spend so much time together. . .wow. . .I never figured myself to be jealous of Tyson. . . I sighed and turned onto my back. I'd spend the whole night thinking about Max if I don't stop now.  
  
Max's Dream~~~~  
  
"You're such a pretty boy. Do you know how long I've wanted you?" Invisible hands grabbed at me, pulling, pinching, pushing, I wanted it to stop!  
  
"No one would miss you if they found out what a slut you were!"  
  
"NO!!! It's not true! LEAVE ME ALONE!" I yelled but the hands continued to grope me.  
  
".enjoy yourself last night?" came the harsh whisper in my ears. I screamed and punched wildly at the voice but I hit air. Suddenly my arms and legs fell limp and I was falling. I landed painfully on the floor, unable to move. It was just like that night, all over again.  
  
"No! Please just stop, why won't you-" End dream.~~~~  
  
"STOP!" I yelled, bolting upright in my bed. It took me a moment to realize that I was back in my room. Glancing at the clock, I cursed, 3:00 am. I sighed and wiped sweat from my forehead. Feeling wetness on my cheeks, I realized that I had been crying. ~Baka, never cry. You know what happens when you cry. . .No, he can't get you here, he wouldn't dare.~ I thought. Still, it didn't help to quell the nervous feelings I had. Beside me, Rei sighed and inched closer to me. I smiled faintly and touched his silky black hair lightly. My light, my tiny bit of light that shone in the shadows where I lived. I frowned, thinking of what Rei would do if he knew. He'd probably flip. Shaking my head, I lay back down and closed my eyes, breathing in the scent of Rei. It made me smile slightly, how he could comfort me without even knowing it. . .but he wouldn't touch me if he knew what I really was. . .a whore. . .  
  
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LITS: I know it's short but don't worry, I'm also updating the second chap! Here, I baked these for you while you were reading. *holds up a tray of chocolate chip muffins* Enjoy and DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!!!! 


	2. Resurfacing Fears

Max: Welcome back, here, have a hot cup of chocolate. ;) *LITS stares at the tray and drools* She can't have sugar or carbs, she's on the Atkins diet. I hope you all liked the *ATKINS* muffins! I hate them, they taste horrible!  
  
LITS: hmph, talk about understatement of the year. Shit would taste better. . . ah, well, here's chap 2. Beware, this story is depressing and contains Abuse, incest and rape, along with yaoi. Enjoy!  
  
Max: hehehe.er.anyways, READ AND REVIEW!!!!! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
~!~!~!~LAST CHAPTER~!~!~!~ "STOP!" I yelled, bolting upright in my bed. It took me a moment to realize that I was back in my room. Glancing at the clock, I cursed, 3:00 am. I sighed and wiped sweat from my forehead. Feeling wetness on my cheeks, I realized that I had been crying. ~Baka, never cry. You know what happens when you cry. . .No, he can't get you here, he wouldn't dare.~ I thought. Still, it didn't help to quell the nervous feelings I had. Beside me, Rei sighed and inched closer to me. I smiled faintly and touched his silky black hair lightly. My light, my tiny bit of light that shone in the shadows where I lived. I frowned, thinking of what Rei would do if he knew. He'd probably flip. Shaking my head, I lay back down and closed my eyes, breathing in the scent of Rei. It made me smile slightly, how he could comfort me without even knowing it. . .but he wouldn't touch me if he knew what I really was. . .a whore. . .  
  
~!~!~!~  
  
Rei's POV I woke up earlier then usual, I don't know why, I've just had a lot on my mind. As I passed by Max's room, I noticed the door was open and peeked in, cat quiet. Max lay curled up in a corner of his bed, his golden hair tousled. My hands itched to touch it. It looked so soft and silky. He really was an angel. A beautiful angel. . . STOP IT! SINCE WHEN DO YOU THINK LIKE THIS?! YOU'VE HAD CRUSHES BEFORE AND YOU WEREN'T NEAR THIS IDIOTIC! God, I wonder if he ever feels this way around me. . . Backing out of the room as quietly as I could, I made my way out of the house that Mr. Dickenson had rented for us and walked to the nearby forest. The rock peppered, dirt path would be good for practicing maneuvers.  
  
I pulled Driger out and set it into the launcher. I pulled the ripcord silently and watched it spin for a moment before commanding it to the right. It obeyed and dodged rocks.  
  
~What was Max afraid of? His crying woke me up last night. I didn't want to scare him or anything by getting up so I just moved a little closer. My heart nearly stopped when he touched me. Could he actually like me?~  
  
My beyblade hitting my foot brought me out of my thoughts. I picked it up with a sigh and pocketed it. Glancing at my watch I started back, it was my turn to make breakfast and I should get a head start.  
  
When I got back to the house, the mailman had already been. I retrieved the mail and went inside to make breakfast. I was surprised to see Max and Kenny were up.  
  
"Morning." Mumbled Kenny, rubbing his non-existent (well, *I* think they are) eyes. I eyed Max for a moment before dropping the mail on the table.  
  
"What are you two up for? Training isn't for a while yet." I said. Max shrugged and moved over to the fridge to pour himself a glass of milk. I looked through the mail, though most of it was junk. One in particular caught my attention.  
  
"Max, you've got mail from your mum." I said. Max came over and looked at it for a moment before opening it. He grinned as he read it, making my heart leap. Suddenly Max turned pale and blood welled up from where he had bit his lip. The letter dropped from his fingers but he made no move to get it.  
  
"Max? Are you. . .what's wrong?" I asked as he got up. He looked at the letter as if it was a ghost before leaving the kitchen. As he turned, I saw tears well up in his innocent blue eyes, making my heart ache. Kenny frowned.  
  
"What's up with Max?" he asked.  
  
"I have no idea." I said as I picked up the letter. I know I shouldn't go into other people's things but this was important.  
  
Dear Max,  
  
I hope your doing well, we miss you back home. I know it's hard to believe but Emily misses you too. She hasn't stopped talking about you since you left. I think she really appreciated having you around to help and such, though she'd never admit it.  
  
Your father and I have been working on making a more durable blade and when it's done we will send it to you. Josh asks about you all the time and misses spending time with you. Oh, Josh just came by, he told me that he'd drop the new blade off at your new home and visit in a couple of days! Your father will be coming too, though not for as long, only one day. I wish I could see the look on your face when you read this. You and your brother haven't seen each other in such a long time. Your father said he can't wait to see you, you don't get to spend much time together anymore.  
  
Lots of love, Mom  
  
I folded the letter. There was nothing bad about the letter. . .hmph, strange.  
  
"I'm going to go find Max." I said simply and started to go upstairs. Why was Max so upset over the letter? I would have thought he'd be happy. . .  
  
(Max's POV)  
  
~NO, NO, NO, NOOOOO! He can't come here!!!! No. . . he'll do it again. . . I don't want to, he can't make me, I won't, God, I won't!!!! Why won't he leave me alone?! What if he comes after my friends?! NO! I CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN!!!! God, I can't let that happen to them. . .especially Rei. I don't care what he says about being able to take care of himself. I'd never forgive myself if he caught Rei and ra. . .God, I can't even bring myself to say it. . .I'm such a coward, I deserve what I get. I bet Rei would never be a victim. He'd fight and win. I wish I was more like him. He's strong, sure of himself, intelligent, handsome. . . why do I think like this? I don't deserve-~  
  
"Max?" I looked up to see Rei standing in the doorway and my heart stopped. My letter was in his hand. . . .  
  
(Normal POV)  
  
Max wiped the tears from his face hastily and sniffed.  
  
"Rei?" he said. Rei closed the door behind him and sat on the bed next to him.  
  
"Why are you so upset? Everything in the letter was good." Max glared at him.  
  
"You read my letter?! Rei!!!" Rei closed his eyes patiently and crossed his arms.  
  
"I had to find out why you were so upset." Reasoned Rei. Max sighed and sniffed again.  
  
"Why do you care so much?" Unknown to Rei, Max's hope soared, though he wasn't sure why. Rei opened his mouth to answer but couldn't find any words to say. What was he supposed to say? It's because I love you and it pains me to see you sad? NO!  
  
"I'm your friend, you can tell me anything." He answered, silently cursing himself. Any hope that Max had came crashing down painfully at Rei's words.  
  
"I see. . . don't worry Rei, it's nothing I can't deal with." Replied Max. He got up and picked up Draciel from the bedside table.  
  
"I think I'm going to go practice, you know, get a head start." He said, his voice dull. Leaving Rei alone in the room, Max went to wake up Tyson and start practicing. ~~  
  
"Damn it, why can't I tell him?! What's the worst he could do? All he probably would do is avoid me. . .or punch me. . . or never talk to me again. . .or tell the world that I'm some kind of pedophile. . .God, I hate me." Rei cried, tugging at his hair angrily. He kicked the side of the wall, almost relishing the pain since it gave him something else to concentrate on besides his cowardice. Limping his way over to the window, he sighed and sat down on the sill. He could see Max follow a yawning Tyson. Maybe this was the way it was supposed to be. He is so beautiful. . .  
  
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LITS: There y'are, chap 2. I hope you guys like it! I love Max but I needed someone 'innocent'. It was either Max or Tyson and well. . .Tyson. . .  
  
Tyson: WHAT? IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME?!  
  
LITS: 0.OU well. . .not exactly. . . *Tyson glares at LITS*  
  
Max: Hehehe. . .*sweatdrop* anyways, just review and LITS will keep updating! 


	3. Off Your Game

Max: Welcome back! Oh! I made Splenda Cookies!!!! You know, that sugar substitute! I'd make actual cookies but LITS would kill me. Anyways. . .they aren't *that* bad!  
  
LITS: *grumbles* Yeah right.  
  
Max: As long as you clean your mouth with Lysol after, there's no icky aftertaste!  
  
LITS: o_o' please review!!!! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
~!~!~!~LAST CHAPTER~!~!~!~ "Damn it, why can't I tell him?! What's the worst he could do? All he probably would do is avoid me. . .or punch me. . . or never talk to me again. . .or tell the world that I'm some kind of pedophile. . .God, I hate me." Rei cried, tugging at his hair angrily. He kicked the side of the wall, almost relishing the pain since it gave him something else to concentrate on besides his cowardice. Limping his way over to the window, he sighed and sat down on the sill. He could see Max follow a yawning Tyson. Maybe this was the way it was supposed to be. He was so beautiful. . .  
  
~!~!~!~  
  
Couple Hours later- 12:30  
  
"Go Dragoon! Phantom Hurricane Attack!!" commanded Tyson. Dragoon rounded the dish and threw Draciel from the dish, barely using any effort. Max sighed and picked Draciel up.  
  
"Max, that's the sixth-"  
  
"Seventh." Interrupted Max.  
  
"Seventh time I've beaten you in a row. What's up?" Max smiled weakly and shook his head.  
  
"Nothing that you'd be able to help with." He said, loading Draciel into his launcher.  
  
"Sometimes it helps to talk about it." Said Tyson as he bent down to pick up Dragoon. Max sighed and linked his hands behind his back.  
  
"Trust me, it's not important." Said Max, lying perfectly.  
  
"Well, okay then. Said Tyson after a moment.  
  
"Let it riiiip!" cried Max. It only took ten seconds for Tyson to knock Draciel from the dish.  
  
"You're really off your game, Max. Maybe something's wrong with Draciel. Why don't you get Kenny to check him out later?" came a voice from behind them. Max turned to see Kai watching them.  
  
" Okay. Oh, I forgot to mention, my brother is coming here in a few days with a blade proto-type. He'll be staying for a while." Said Max. He set his blade into the launcher again. Kai and Tyson gave him a quizzical look but he shrugged.  
  
"We might as well practice a bit more." He said, getting ready to launch. Tyson's stomach gurgling stopped them.  
  
"I didn't realize I was hungry, what time is it?" asked Tyson. Max glanced down at his watch.  
  
"12:40. Uh oh, Kenny's cooking today. I'll bring the stomach pumps." said Max with a smile. Tyson laughed.  
  
"I thought Rei was going to teach him how to cook." He said as he started back.  
  
"Well, Rei's hair caught fire so he swore that when Kenny was in the kitchen, he'd be outside from then on. It was quite funny at the time but no one wants to teach him." Answered Max. As they got closer the sounds of the smoke detector could be heard. Rei was sitting outside on the porch, reading a book.  
  
"I wouldn't go in there if I were you. It'd be dangerous to your health." Said Rei, not looking up from his book. Kai shook his head slightly as he opened the door.  
  
"Someone's got to get the kitchen sorted out. I'll go help Kenny." He said before disappearing into the house. Max sat down next to Rei and waited. It was another fifteen minutes before Kai sorted Kenny out and called them in for lunch. Tyson had already set the table and was sitting at the far left when they came in. Max looked nervously at Rei before taking a seat next to Kenny, who smelled distinctly of smoke.  
  
"So, what are we eating?" asked Tyson.  
  
"Sandwiches. It was all that was left that wasn't burned." Said Kai. Kenny blushed madly and hit his head against the table.  
  
"You guys know I can't cook! Why force it?!" he said, his voice slightly muffled. Kai rolled his eyes and put the plate with sandwiches down.  
  
"You guys, I just got a letter from my mom. My older brother, Josh is coming here in a day or so. He's bringing a prototype blade that's a bit stronger for us to try out."  
  
"Cool! I didn't know you have an older brother! Why didn't you ever tell us?" asked Tyson through a mouthful of sandwich. Max nibbled at his and kept his eyes away from Tyson's, afraid he'd see he was lying.  
  
"We've always been so busy, I've never had the chance." He said. Unseen by all of them, a tall, blonde man watched from the window. He'd finally found his little brother and nothing would stop him from having his fun. It wasn't enough that he'd taken Max, he wanted to control him too. . . .  
  
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LITS: There y'are, chap 3. Poor Max. . . ah well. I know this chap is short so I'm updating chap 4 too!  
  
Adyna: REVIEW OR DIE!!!!!  
  
LITS: Err. . . yeah. . .having a bad day?  
  
Adyna: *with a crazed look in her eyes* No! It's Turkey day and I'm going crazy! Soooooo much coooooooking, cleaning and, and, AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!! 


	4. Curiosity Killed The,,,

Max: HAPPY TURKEY DAY!!!! *thanksgiving, duuhhhhh* ; )  
  
LITS: Yeah! I hope y'all get ur fill of pumpkin pie!  
  
Max: So. . .do you want to make LITS's day? *you: nod enthusiastically*  
  
LITS: READ AND REVIEW!!!! EMPHASIS ON THE REVIEW PART!!!!! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
~!~!~!~LAST CHAPTER~!~!~!~ "We've always been so busy, I've never had the chance." He said. Unseen by all of them, a tall, blonde man watched from the window. He'd finally found his little brother and nothing would stop him from having his fun. It wasn't enough that he'd taken Max, he wanted to control him too. . . .  
  
~!~!~!~  
  
Max's sneakers pounded against the dirt path as he tried to catch up with Rei. Even Kenny was out lapping him! Cursing with what little breath was left in his lungs, he tried to increase the pace but his muscles ached and the world started to spin. Shaking his head, he stopped and leaned against a tree. Tyson, on his fourth lap, came up behind him and stopped, jogging in place. Max's face was sweaty and pale, his breath rattling in his chest.  
  
"You okay?" he asked in between pants. Max smiled weakly and nodded his head before pushing off from the tree and starting up again. Tyson kept pace with him easily.  
  
"The heat must really be taking the energy out of you. What lap are you on?" Max held up three fingers.  
  
"Just think, two more laps and it's dinner time." He said with a smile before breaking the pace and going faster. Max rolled his eyes and wiped sweat off of his forehead. Just like Tyson to be thinking of food during training. After another two torturous laps, Max flopped onto the cool grass, his lungs burning harshly. The heck was wrong with him? Kenny was never faster then him. He wasn't gaining weight, of that he was sure. Max watched as Kai told each of the Bladebreakers what their timing was for running. Finally he turned to Max and waited for the three other boys to go into the house before talking.  
  
"You're five minutes longer then last time." He stated simply. Max waited. Wasn't he going to say anything else?  
  
"Two more laps." He said before going into the house. Max groaned as Rei came over.  
  
"Don't worry, it'll be over before you know it. Here, I'll help you up." He said as he grabbed his hand and pulled him up. The sudden change in altitude made Max's vision blur and the air flee his lungs. He stumbled back and would have fallen down if Rei hadn't lunged forward, wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him close. They stayed like that for a moment, mere inches away from each other, blue meeting amber in an unwavering gaze until blue slid shut and his body went limp.  
  
"Max? Max?" said Rei. No response. 'He's fainted.' Realized Rei after a few moments of shaking him. The close proximity to Max was making his mind wander. His lips were parted as they sucked in air and he looked so beautiful. Rei sighed, than hoisted Max's body up, putting one arm beneath his knees, the other behind his back. As soon as he carried him into the house, he was bombarded with questions. He glared at them and carefully lay Max down on the couch.  
  
"Quiet! Max fainted, probably from the heat, but he's fine now. I'm going to go get a glass of water for him, if you must talk, go talk over in the T.V. room but if you wake him up, I will maul you." Hissed Rei before disappearing into the kitchen, leaving behind a stunned Tyson, Kai and Kenny. ~~~  
  
I moaned and blinked. Where. . .? Glancing around the room, I saw Rei, his nose buried in a book. I watched him for a moment, remembering when I collapsed and he caught me. I felt so strange when he held me. . .it made my skin tingle and made me want to smile. . .Thank God I fainted. I moved to get up but my muscles protested and I groaned. Rei put down his book and sat down on the edge of the couch and pressed a glass to my hand. I smiled and nodded in thanks before taking a sip. Using the care and gentleness he used for handling delicate things, he took my pulse and felt my forehead. I shivered under his soft touch.  
  
"You had me worried there for a while. Thought we'd have to take you to the hospital." Smiling to myself, I pushed myself up from the couch and stretched. Before I could move again, Rei caught my arm, turning me to him.  
  
"You really should rest up a bit more." Muttered Rei but I shook my head.  
  
"Nah. It's my turn to cook anyways and I don't want to keep you guys waiting any longer." I said, running a hand through my hair. Rei's eyes were a mixture of worry and something else, something I'd never seen in him before.  
  
"Tyson and Kai started about a half-hour ago. I really think you should relax. You seem really stressed out." Rei's hand tightened slightly and I sighed and sat back down.  
  
"Well, I guess it's okay just this once, right?" I asked. Rei nodded, the far away look still in his eyes. He was sitting so close, I could feel his breath. His hand touched my hair, playing with it. Could he feel the same as I do? As if in answer, his hand jerked away and he blinked.  
  
"Er. . .rest until dinner. Kai's letting you off training tomorrow." Said Rei as he got up and hurried out of the room. I bit my lip as tears welled up in my eyes. What is this that I'm feeling?! Rejection?! WHAT?! No! Rubbing the tears away, I got up and went into the kitchen.  
  
"Hey Max! How're you feeling?" asked Tyson.  
  
"Fine. Sorry you guys, I'll cook next time for the both of you." I said as I grabbed an apron and tied the strings around my back.  
  
"It's okay. Want to help me with the carrots?" ~~~~  
  
Rei watched Max discretly. Why wasn't he eating anything? He should be frickin starving! He barely ate anything for lunch.  
  
"Max, aren't you hungry?" asked Tyson, putting Rei's thoughts to words. Max looked up from his plate and shrugged.  
  
"No, I already ate a bit. I'm going to go up to my room, if it's okay. I'm still pretty tired." Said Max. Not waiting for their answer, Max gathered his dishes and left. Rei's eyes narrowed and he got up just as the doorbell rang.  
  
"Will one of you get that? I've got to ask Max something." Said Rei as he walked out of dining room. Rei knocked on Max's door but no answer. After waiting for a few minutes, he opened the door. Max wasn't there. The muffled sounds of someone retching caught his attention and he made his way softly over to the bathroom door.  
  
"Max?!" ~~~~ ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
LITS: CHAP 4 done! :D So. . .what did ya think?! I won't know if you don't review!!!!! 


	5. Choices

LITS: Hello! Since this story was originally a kai/max story, I'm adding a dash of kai/max but the main theme is still Rei/Max. ***SEMI-SPOILER !!!! DON'T READ THIS UNLESS YOU REALLY REALLY WANT TO!!!!***I might actually Kill Max. . I haven't decided for sure. . .i'd really appreciate ur feedback!!!!  
  
Max: DON'T KILL MEEEEEE!  
  
Adyna: *rocking back and forth in the corner in a straitjacket* Don't worry Maxie, we won't kill you. . .HEHEHEEEEEEEE  
  
Max: O.o' errrr. . . .i suddenly remember, I have something to do. . .Cya!!!! *runs off*  
  
LITS: Yes, it is definetly time for your medication Adyna.  
  
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~!~!~!~LAST CHAPTER~!~!~!~ "Will one of you get that? I've got to ask Max something." Said Rei as he walked out of dining room. Rei knocked on Max's door but no answer. After waiting for a few minutes, he opened the door. Max wasn't there. The muffled sounds of someone retching caught his attention and he made his way softly over to the bathroom door.  
  
"Max?!"  
  
~!~!~!~  
  
A mess of roasted chicken, mashed potatoes and peas swirled in the toilet bowl before being swept away. Max coughed slightly and washed his mouth out in the sink. Max opened the bathroom door and slammed right into something warm and semi-soft. It took him a moment to realize it was someone's chest. Rei's chest. REI!!!!!!  
  
"Max, you sounded sick." For half a second, Max actually thought Rei cared but the feeling disappeared, replaced by cold emptiness.  
  
"Yeah, I probably ate something bad." He muttered as he pushed past Rei. He was halfway down the hall before Rei responded.  
  
"You eat something bad at every meal?" came the soft voice. Max froze, his body rigid.  
  
"What do you mean?" croaked Max, turning back to look at Rei. It was impossible to see what Rei thought, his face was partially hidden in the shadows.  
  
"You avoid meals whenever you can but when you do eat, you eat barely anything, then you go to the bathroom. I'm not a blind idiot, that's Tyson's job. You have less energy, you can't concentrate, I can read the signs, Max." Replied Rei quietly. The other boys were downstairs, still eating and he didn't want to include them in this conversation. Max was trembling like a leaf and tears of shame welled up in his eyes as he clenched his fists.  
  
"I'm sorry I haven't been doing well, Rei, but you're wrong." Said Max. When he turned to go back to his room, Rei darted forward and grabbed his arm. Beneath the folds of clothing, his arm felt thin and fragile. Max tried in vain to yank his arm out of Rei's grip but to no avail.  
  
"I'm wrong? Max, you were as light as a feather when I carried you into the house. You're worrying me sick! Why are you worried about gaining weight?" said Rei. Something changed in Max as he laughed coldly. He sounded more like one of the Demolition boys then the Max Mizuhara that Rei knew.  
  
"Is that what you think, Rei? I'm worried about my weight?! Why do you even care? Sorry, but you'd hate me if you knew the truth, you really wouldn't understand." He spat bitterly. Rei blinked, completely shocked. Max's face reflected that shock and horror as he clapped his hands over his mouth.  
  
"Oh crap, did I just say that out frickin loud?!" he said through his hands.  
  
Kai's POV  
  
"Why do you even care? Sorry, but you'd hate me if you knew the truth, you really wouldn't understand." I heard a cold voice say. I looked down the hall to see Max with his back to me and a stunned Rei. Suddenly Max gasped and clapped his hands over his mouth. He said something but I couldn't hear it.  
  
"Max?" I said. Max spun around, his eyes wild with fear.  
  
"Kai?! Why are you up here?!" he said. My eyes went from Max to Rei, who was still in a state of shock.  
  
"Someone's here to see you Max, they're waiting downstairs." I said slowly. Max nodded and ran past me, down the stairs.  
  
"What happened? I've never heard Max like that. What did you say to him? I asked. Rei shook his head slowly.  
  
"I can't tell you until I'm sure. I bluffed knowing something and Max surprised me. . .Who's here to see Max?" said Rei.  
  
"Joshua."  
  
"Joshua?" he repeated.  
  
"His brother. What did you say to Max?" I asked again.  
  
"Nothing that concerns you." Muttered Rei. I glared at Rei and crossed his arms.  
  
"If it concerns Max, it concerns me." Rei frowned, then understanding spread across his face.  
  
"You like him, don't you?" Despite my anger, I blushed.  
  
"Well, yeah, he's a nice kid." I mumbled. I've known that I liked Max for a while but I don't think I'm the right kind of guy for him.  
  
"You know what I mean. I never would have guessed. . . ." trailed off Rei. I looked at Rei carefully.  
  
"And I know I'm not the only one. Even though I'm not going to go for Max, you break his heart, I'll break your legs." I growled. Rei's eyes widened considerably.  
  
"You know I'd never do that." He said softly.  
  
"I know, I just want to make sure. Let's go downstairs, you'll want to meet Josh."~~~~  
  
"J-J-Josh?!" breathed Max. Joshua dropped his bags and swept Max up in a hug.  
  
"Hi Max! I've missed you so much!" said Josh as Max squirmed in his arms. When he let go, Max's face was pale and his eyes fearful.  
  
"I missed you too." Said Max quietly. He shuddered as Josh's steel gray eyes traveled their way up Max's body.  
  
"So you're Josh. I'm Rei, that's Kenny and that's Tyson." Said Rei, coming up behind Max. Rei didn't like the way Josh was looking at Max.  
  
"Well, I'll be here for a week or so. Mom made me bring a bunch of stuff for you guys. I'm staying at the hotel down by the park-"  
  
"Why don't you stay here with us? We have an extra room." Said Tyson. The way Max was looking at Tyson could have burned holes in his head.  
  
"That sounds great, well, what do you say, Max?" asked Josh. Max nodded grimly.  
  
"That's great! Can you show me my room Max?" asked Josh. Max swallowed and nodded before grabbing one of Josh's bags and leading him into the house. 'Maybe he's changed, maybe he won't touch me. . .' thought Max desperately as he took him to his room. He led him in and placed his bag by the bed. The next thing Max knew, the door closed, he was pinned to the bed and Josh was on top of him, pinning him to the bed.  
  
"No! Josh, please stop!" he tried to say but Josh covered his mouth with his own. He smiled into the kiss and caressed Max's chest with one hand. He loved the way Max squirmed under him, he loved the taste of Max's tears and the smell of his blood even more. Josh bit down on Max's lower lip, making him cry out.  
  
"Did you miss this?" whispered Josh. Max shook his head and whimpered as Josh slipped his hand under his shirt.  
  
"No, Josh, Please don't do this!" begged Max as Josh kissed his way down Max's neck. He abruptly stopped at Max's words.  
  
"Okay, I'll just have to satisfy myself with someone else, how about that peppy friend of yours, Tyson, I think, or the Chinese boy, Rei?" said Josh, playfully tracing his fingers up Max's stomach.  
  
"No!" Josh frowned at Max.  
  
"You care about him, don't you? Hmph, figures that all those little play times we had would turn you into a fag." He said..  
  
"No! I don't love him! I-AH!" cried Max as Josh bit down on his nipple mercilessly.  
  
"So you won't care if I have some fun with him, will you?" Josh asked.  
  
"No, don't hurt him! He's my friend. . .he's just my friend!" Josh glared down at Max and smacked him.  
  
"Liar! You're such a worthless piece of shit." spat Josh.  
  
" I'll give you a choice, you or him. I'll give you some time to decide but make up your mind quick, Max, I don't plan to wait too long. Get out of my room." Commanded Josh as he pushed himself off of Max.  
  
Max got up and ran out of Josh's room and straight into the bathroom. He pulled out the bottle of mouthwash and drank some before taking it into his mouth and spitting it back out. He grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste and began scrubbing furiously at his teeth. He could still feel Josh's tongue in his mouth, he could still taste him. Max turned on the sink, took some water and spat the toothpaste out. He looked in the mirror but he couldn't see himself, just some play toy that belonged to his brother. He wanted to cry but he couldn't, he felt so empty. He half blindly put away the mouthwash and felt something sharp scratch against his arm.  
  
He wiped away his tears and looked at it. It was Kai's shaving razor. Something about it looked so inviting; the shine of the metal? Not caring that the blades were cutting into the pads of his fingers, he broke the razor apart and pulled the blades free. Not sure why he broke the blades free or what to do, he did the one thing that made the most sense, drag it across his wrist. The sharp sting was delicious and his arm begged for more. He let his body take over, slashing over and over again. Finally, he stopped and looked down. There had to be at least 30 shallow cuts, crisscrossing over each other. It stung but it felt so good. He pocketed the razor and turned on the sink so he could stick his arm under the water. The white sink turned a light pink as Max's blood drained away. At last, Max turned off the water and toweled his arm dry. He crept out of the bathroom and into his room. Deep inside, he wished he wouldn't wake up tomorrow but his fear and something else, he wasn't sure what it was, kept him from pushing the blade in deeper. . .~~~~~~ ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
LITS: CHAP 5 done! Please, please review!!!!! I need feedback!!!! 


	6. So Sorry

LITS: Hey y'all! I'm SO sorry I haven't updated recently. I've had a huge writers block and it hasn't completely gone away. Thanks to all you fans, you deserve a plushie! LOOK! *holds up a Draceil plushie* :D WARNING: This chapter contains shounen-ai (boy/boy love).  
  
BIG THANKS AND COMMENTS TO. . . .  
  
Rumi-Chan: *winces* Ouch. . . vicious little reviewer, aren't ya! :D (Josh: I'll say. . .) Your review made me smile when I saw it. :D Thank you so much! I made you a Josh voodoo doll to take your anger out on! ;D Enjoy.  
  
Cute Dragon: You've reviewed so much and I haven't said thanks *BAD LI!!! ;D*  
  
Evilgoddess1990: Eep, don't hurt me too much! ;D jk. Merci beaucoup pour les reviews!  
  
WolfSapphire200: Here's ur update! Enjoy!  
  
Trio-Spade: Ur reviews are short but sweet and keep me going! Thanks a bunch!  
  
Celria: My first reviewer ever, what can I say? I wouldn't have continued without ur helpful feedback! Keep updateing your stories!  
  
BladeWitch DranzerSeer: *hides beneath desk*O.o. . .scary reviewer. . .  
  
Dna18: Sorry but Maxie must suffer. *huggles Max* I love the kid but his brother does not.  
  
CrEaTiVe-LoTus-BlOsSom: Ur name was heck to spell, all those capitals. . . Thanks for the review, short and sweet!  
  
Lily Carroll: Thanks for the delicious chocolate and the even better review! You review really helped me to keep digging away at my writers block. *holds up a worn down pick axe* Don't worry, there will be a lemon but there will also be rape scenes, hope you don't mind too much. O.oU ~~~~~  
  
LITS: Thanks to all you people who I haven't put up here! I appreciate your reviews!!!! Now, on with the chapter, P.s. I don't own Beyblade but I do own this interesting looking letter opener in the shape of a parrot. .O.oU  
  
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Rei's POV  
  
It had been three days since Josh had arrived and needless to say, all the Bladebreakers liked him, heck I like him. He works with the All Stars with Judy. He's helped upload some new data into Dizzi, he improved Dragoon's defense and Dranzer's speed. He's working on Driger now. He even made Kai laugh, something that shocked the hell out of us. We didn't think it was possible. He's a real nice guy. Does he know about Max's. . .problem? I had no idea I'd be right when I confronted Max. He seems to be the only one who doesn't like the fact that his brother came here, though he'd never admit it to us. He's also taken up the habit of following me around. To keep me from telling the others about his eating disorder? I'm not sure. I really should talk to him but he's been so stressed lately. ~~~~  
  
"Rei? Helloooo. I had to call you three times!" said Josh. Rei smiled.  
  
"Sorry, I've got a lot on my mind." Josh took a seat in front of him and tossed him his beyblade.  
  
"Anything you want to talk about? I'm a good listener." Said Josh. Rei smiled slightly but shook his head.  
  
"Nah. It's not that important." He said. Josh shrugged and inched slightly closer to him.  
  
"You have such nice hair, how do you take such good care of it?" he asked, fingering the tail of Rei's wrapped hair.  
  
"Lots of washing. It gets tangled really easily. . .don't get me started or I'll never stop!" laughed Rei. By this time, Josh's hands were running through the tail of his wrapped hair. Max, who had been watching not to far away, glared. Steeling himself, he got up and walked over to the duo.  
  
"Josh. I need to talk to you." Josh smirked slightly and let go of Rei's hair.  
  
"Okay Max." he said, getting up and following him into the house. Despite his fear towards his older brother, that didn't stop him from being angry.  
  
"Josh, you said you'd give me time! Stay away from him!" Josh's eyes narrowed and a smirk replaced the frown.  
  
"Ha, I knew it you fag. Anyways, you're taking too long. I'm getting bored." Said Josh moving closer. Max backed away on instinct, his back hitting the wall of his room.  
  
"You know I won't let you hurt the other boys. . .just give me one day. Please?" said Max quietly. Josh grinned and pulled Max's face up.  
  
"Of course, one day." He said before placing his mouth over Max's. Max stood, completely passive, letting Josh have his way until he stopped. Josh smiled slightly and left Max in his room. Max waited a while before following him out, almost afraid that he'd be lurking behind the door. He made his way outside, making his choice of action final as he looked for Rei. To his relief, Rei was alone, trying out his remade blade. He placed a hand softly on Rei's shoulder, making him jump.  
  
"Max! I didn't hear you. What's up?" Max smiled faintly, avoiding Rei's golden eyes.  
"Nothing, I. . .just want to tell you something." Rei grinned and picked up Driger and loaded it back in it's launcher.  
  
"Sure, what's-" Before Rei could make another move, Max pulled his head down and pressed his lips against Rei's. Rei's eyes widened in shock before closing, enjoying the chaste kiss. Max pulled away from a slightly dazed Rei.  
  
"Max. . .i . . ." Max chewed his lip, it didn't look like Rei liked it.  
  
"I'm sorry, I just. . .I'm sorry, I gu-." he stammered, only to be cut off by Rei's lips on his. When Rei pulled away, there was a smile on his face.  
  
"I thought you were straight, seeing as Mariah and all. . ." muttered Max with a shy smile. Rei laughed.  
  
"No, no, I love her as a sister, not like that. And here I was thinking you'd never like me." Max grinned and tugged at a lock of Rei's hair.  
  
"What's there not to like? Rei, this isn't the only thing I wanted to tell you. I love you, but we can't be together." Rei frowned, completely confused.  
  
"Wait, let me get this right, I love you, you love me, but we can't be together. Why? Did I do something?" Max sighed and shook his head.  
  
"No, it isn't you, it's me. It's complicated." Rei rested his hands on Max's and grasped him by the shoulders, looking him in the eyes.  
  
"Is it your eating problem?" Max glared.  
  
"What kind of a question is that? And I don't have an eating problem!"  
  
"Max, you up chuck your food. What's it supposed to be?"  
  
"It's complicated, Rei. I can't tell you, I'm sorry. I just wanted you to know that I love you but it isn't meant to be." Muttered Max, looking everywhere but at Rei's eyes.  
  
"How can you know that if we haven't even tried? Max, please tell me." Max shook his head and turned to leave but Rei grabbed his arm, making him wince. Rei frowned and looked down at his sleeved arm.  
  
"No! Rei!" protested Max, but Rei had already pulled Max's sleeve up, revealing the multiple slashes dancing up Max's arm.  
  
"Max. . .please, please don't keep me in the dark. What's happening to you?" Max flinched slightly as he pulled his arm from Rei's grip, tearing some of the delicate scars.  
  
"You owe me that much, Max. I love you so much and it's killing me to see you hurt so much. . ." Max froze and looked back. Rei's eyes were hidden beneath his bangs but tear tracks could be seen trailing down his cheeks.  
  
"Max, I can't stand this. You're starving yourself, cutting yourself but you won't open up. You pull me close, then push me away. Max, you're killing yourself." ~~~  
  
Max's POV  
  
What was I supposed to say to that? I'm not killing myself, though, Rei was wrong about that. Rei, don't cry, please, don't cry. I'm so sorry. Damn it! Why won't my mouth work?! God, Rei, if I knew for sure what was happening to me, I'd tell you in an instant. Rei, don't cry! I blink as the world swirls around me, but I don't feel dizzy. Then my vision is clear and there's something warm on my face, I touch it with my hand. I'm crying. I'm crying but not for me, I'm crying because Rei is crying. Suddenly Rei is in my arms, he's shaking. I can't believe he's in my arms. I can't believe he's crying. I can't believe he's crying *for me*.  
  
"Max, please." Is all he says between quiet sobs. My arms tighten around him. I don't want to let go. I don't want to face Josh, but I can't let him hurt you. Rei, I love you but I'm sorry. . .  
  
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LITS: Next chapter may contain either rape or a lemon, haven't decided yet. . . it's more likely to be rape. So a warning to you people who don't like violence.  
  
Max: The more reviews LITS get the faster she updates!!!!! 


	7. The Beginning to My End

LITS: Thanks to all you people who I haven't put up here! I appreciate your reviews!!!! Your comments mean so much to me! BEWARE: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS RAPE!!!! Oh, by the way, I just got a blog, it's depressing but if you want to see it, here's the address: . Now, on with the chapter, P.s. I don't own Beyblade but I do own this strange yet confusing lizard compass. I don't think it works too well. . . .  
  
BIG THANKS AND COMMENTS TO. . . .  
  
SilveryKitsune: Rei and Max: O.o Make love? Lits: *winks at Kitsune* So happy that you like the story! Thanks for explaining the rape thing Kyoko. I would have been red as a tomato if I had to explain! ;)  
  
Cute Dragon: :D I love the kissing part too, I didn't think I'd add any shounen-ai till later. . .  
  
WolfSapphire200: Thanks so much for your encouragement! It means a lot to me!  
  
KeenaSky: Kewl! I'm so glad you like my story! It's my first try at yaoi so I'm happy that it's working out okay. You're comment about my angsty talent made me swell with pride! :D  
  
Celria: Too bad about the writer's block. Here, I've got just the thing! A hug, a wink of encouragement and your own, official ice pick to hack away at the pesky block!  
  
CrEaTiVe-LoTus-BlOsSom: Okay, okay, don't get your boxers in a twist! ;D here's the next chap!  
  
Lily Carroll: MmMmMmmmm, *imagines choco cake*. Lily, or Ms/Mrs. Carroll, what can I say? You have such great encouragement and comments to make! I'm so happy you like my story! ~~~~~  
  
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~!~!~!~LAST CHAPTER~!~!~!~ Max's POV  
  
What was I supposed to say to that? I'm not killing myself, though, Rei was wrong about that. Rei, don't cry, please, don't cry. I'm so sorry. Damn it! Why won't my mouth work?! God, Rei, if I knew for sure what was happening to me, I'd tell you in an instant. Rei, don't cry! I blink as the world swirls around me, but I don't feel dizzy. Then my vision is clear and there's something warm on my face, I touch it with my hand. I'm crying. I'm crying but not for me, I'm crying because Rei is crying. Suddenly Rei is in my arms, he's shaking. I can't believe he's in my arms. I can't believe he's crying. I can't believe he's crying *for me*.  
  
"Max, please." Is all he says between quiet sobs. My arms tighten around him. I don't want to let go. I don't want to face Josh, but I can't let him hurt you. Rei, I love you but I'm sorry. . . ~!~!~!~  
  
Max's POV  
  
His sobs are breaking my heart. I can't believe I'm hurting him so much. . .  
  
"Max!" Intruded Josh's nasal voice. I took one last deep breath, inhaling Rei's foresty scent and let go of him. I'd never felt so detached in my life.  
  
" Rei, just, forget about it, it's not important. I need to talk with Josh." I said before turning my back to his penetrating golden eyes. Josh watched Rei leave with narrowed gray eyes before addressing me.  
  
"We're leaving." He stated. I looked up in surprise, 'what the hell was he playing at?'  
  
"Don't look at me like that, you agreed to be mine. We leave today." I opened my mouth to protest but I was met by the back of his hand. My jaw snapped shut, closing on my tongue. I stumbled back, hissing in pain. Josh grabbed one of my arms and glared at me.  
  
"*Never* talk back to me. Never." He said in a quiet yet deadly voice. I nodded, tasting my own blood flood my mouth. Damn, my tongue hurt real bad.  
  
"Go pack your shit and tell your team captain something. We leave in half an hour." He said, throwing me to the ground. I stumbled and landed on my palms. I got up slowly, expecting more pain but felt nothing. Taking advantage of Josh's short lived patience, I went to my room and began packing. 'God, I don't want to leave. I don't want to remember, please, don't let me remember.' I thought as I packed my belongings. But I can't help it, the memories flood back, taking over my mind.  
  
~~Flashback to When Max was visiting his Mom ~~  
  
"Hey Max, I'm home! When you're finished your homework, come on out and we'll have dinner." Called Joshua. Max looked up from his math homework and moved his chair back so he could see his older brother in the kitchen.  
  
"Josh, what kept you? You were supposed to be home an hour ago. You know Mom and Dad aren't going to be home till tomorrow, right?" Said Max.  
  
" Yeah yeah, I know. I had to pick up something, is a salad with macaroni okay with you?" Max grinned lopsidedly. It wasn't like Josh knew how to cook anything other then macaroni.  
  
"Sure, I'm done so I'll come out and help you." Answered Max before turning back to his homework.  
  
"It's okay, I'll cook. Just set the table for me, kay?" Max muttered a yes before closing his books and shoving them back into his knapsack. He collected cutlery and dishes and went to set the table. It was barely a half an hour before supper was done and the two of them sat down to eat.  
  
"So, how was school?" asked Josh. Max shrugged.  
  
"The usual. Nothing exciting. How's college?"  
  
"Okay. Mom's one of the substitute professors and it's horrible. She always has her eye on me and she takes every opportunity to embarrass me. I hear Dad's going to let you work in the hobby shop." Max beamed with pride and took another bit of his macaroni.  
  
"Yup! I can't wait! You know what Josh, you make the best macaroni and cheese I've ever had!" said Max. Josh simply smiled and continued eating. The rest of the meal was eaten in a comfortable silence.  
  
"That was good. I'll take the dishes back." Said Max. Josh nodded, watching him carefully.  
  
~~Max's POV~~  
  
~ I'm feeling awful tired. It's not like I didn't get any sleep last night.~ I thought as I started to wash the dishes. Suddenly I was finding it really hard to stand straight and my arms felt so heavy.  
  
"What's wrong with me?" I muttered, holding onto the counter. I quickly became aware that Joshua had come up behind me and he had wrapped his arms around my waist.  
  
"What. . .are. . .you doing?" I asked, finding it hard to form words. I felt Josh laugh against my back and pick me up. I tried so hard to struggle but I could barely move. Josh took me into the bedroom and lay me down before climbing on top of me and started to remove my clothes. I moaned and tried to push him off but he swatted my hands away and smacked me.  
  
"You. . .you drugged me. You put. . .it. . .in my food. . .why are. . .you. . .doing this?" I said. Josh smiled cruelly and bent down to kiss me. I thought I was going to be sick as I felt his tongue enter my mouth. I bit down as hard as I could and the coppery taste of blood filled my mouth. Josh pulled back with a cry and punched me hard in the face. He seemed to loose interest with kissing as he undid my pants and pulled them down.  
  
"You're such a pretty boy. Do you know how long I've wanted you?"  
  
"Stop. . .Josh, please." I said, tears welling up in my eyes. He ignored me and moved my legs. Fiery pain shot through me as he thrust into me.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAA! JOSH! NO!" I screamed until my throat burned. I thought he would rip me apart.  
  
"You're mine, Max, all mine! I control you Max, I've made you mine. You're my whore." Panted Josh. I wanted so badly not feel the pain that my own brother was inflicting on me, to not hear his words!!!!! His breath was hot and sticky against my neck as he thrust in and out of me and his nails dug deep into my shoulders and neck, drawing blood. God, I wanted to die so bad. I closed my eyes, trying to imagine myself somewhere else, somewhere where I couldn't feel anything, but every time I opened my eyes, I saw his dark lust filled gray ones staring back at me. Finally, his body shuddered and he collapsed on me. He fell asleep still inside me. It was hours before I could move and I shoved him off of me. I immediately went to the bathroom and turned on the shower. I made it as hot as I could bare and scrubbed hard at my skin.  
  
"Josh, why? You've made me so dirty and it won't go away!" I said. Eventually my skin started to bleed from my scrubbing but I didn't stop until my body felt numb. No more pain, no more guilt, no more shame. . . Then the tears came and I couldn't stop them. I sat down in the shower and cried. My world was caving in and there was no way out. I slowly became aware that the hot water had run out so I turned off the shower left the bathroom. I crept into my own room and locked the door. I changed into a green turtle neck and blue jeans and opened the door to leave when I saw Josh standing outside. I immediately slammed the door and tried to lock it but he forced his way in and grabbed me by the throat.  
  
"What's the matter Max? You didn't enjoy yourself last night? I did, you're such a tight little whore, let's do it again soon." I whimpered as his other hand roamed across my body, stopping in between my legs.  
  
"Max, if you tell anyone, I'll kill you. No one would miss you if they found out what a slut you were! Got that? GOT IT?!" He yelled, throwing me against the wall. I winced and nodded, struggling to get air into my lungs. He pulled me to my feet and pressed his lips to mine. I refused to open my mouth so he twisted my wrist hard. I gasped in pain as something snapped and his tongue made it's way into my mouth. It was hell all over again.  
  
~~End Flashback~ Still Max's POV~~  
  
Heh, I guess it goes without saying that I've never been able to eat macaroni since. Anyways, that's how it went. Every time my parents left me alone with Josh, he took advantage of me. He'd drug my food then rape me. I learned to throw up after every meal but it didn't matter to him. Even worse, I'd throw up any food I ate, I just couldn't stop for fear that somehow, he'd drugged my food. He liked it when I fought. I hate being helpless but every time, I find myself beneath him, being pounded into the bed. Helpless.  
  
If my friends knew about the r. . .what Josh did to me, I'd kill myself. It's bad enough that it happens but I wouldn't be able to stand having them know. They'd be so disgusted that I let something like that happen to me. Kai would probably kick me off the team and Rei. . .i can't even think about it. I wish I died, God, why didn't I die?  
  
"Max? Why are you packing?" I turned to look at Kai.  
  
"My mom is sick and she wants me there. Sorry but I have to go. I'll call you in a couple of days." I said without hesitation. Kai regarded me with steely crimson eyes before nodding and leaving. How could someone so observant be so blind? I've finished packing and I hadn't realized it. I shoulder my bag and take it downstairs. Rei is there, watching T.V. He doesn't even look at me. Josh is standing outside next to a cab. Josh sees me and motions for me to hurry up. I nod and leave the rented house. Sighing, I take one last look at Rei and get into the cab. Good-bye Rei.  
  
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LITS: Er. . . .i hope you like it! O.oU  
  
Adyna: You're way to self conscious. Just go with the flow.  
  
LITS: yeah, when pigs fly. Anyways, for all you devoted fans, Max and I made these! *Holds up sad Maxie plushies* When you hug them, they smile!!! Heheheeee!  
  
Max: The more reviews LITS get the faster she updates!!!!! 


	8. Don't Stop, I Hate It When You Do This

LITS: Thanks to all you people who I haven't put up here! I appreciate your reviews!!!! Your comments mean so much to me! BEWARE: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS EXPLICIT RAPE!!!! Oh, by the way, I just got a blog, it's depressing but if you want to see it, here's the address but you need to take out the spaces or it won't work.: http: // ww w.xang a. com/ private/ home. aspx? user=Li_The_Shadows. Now, on with the chapter, P.s. I don't own Beyblade but I do own this! *Whips out a math text book* I'm supposed to be doing homework right now but if I can't find the text book. . . .;D. . . .  
  
BIG THANKS AND COMMENTS TO. . . .  
  
SilveryKitsune: Eeek! Josh! He's extra crispy! *pokes ashes with a stick* Ah well, let's get a replacement Josh. At least you made Max happy! ;D  
  
Cute Dragon: : don't be sorry! Evil laughter's always good! Insert maniacal laughter ;D  
  
WolfSapphire200: What a hell of a life he lived? How about living? It's all going to go downhill from here! Watch!. . .or rather. . Read!  
  
Lily Carroll: Thanks soooo much for the review but I couldn't really understand what you  
  
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"My mom is sick and she wants me there. Sorry but I have to go. I'll call you in a couple of days." I said without hesitation. Kai regarded me with steely crimson eyes before nodding and leaving. How could he be so blind? I've finished packing and I hadn't realized it. I shoulder my bag and take it downstairs. Rei is there, watching T.V. He doesn't even look at me. Josh is standing outside next to a cab. Josh sees me and motions for me to hurry up. I nod and leave the rented house. Sighing, I take one last look at Rei and get into the cab. Good-bye Rei. ~!~!~!~  
  
Rei's POV  
  
How could he do this to me?! Why does he play with me?! Doesn't he understand that I care?! God, he makes me so angry! I hate him. . .and I love him. . .and I HATE him! How can he do this to me?! Letting out an explosive sigh I dropped unceremoniously onto the couch and flicked on the t.v. I needed a distraction from Max and his stupid, selfish, destructive behaviors. God, I can't see why he does it! He's handsome, he has a loving family and he's a great beyblader! Max, can't you see you have a wonderful life? The sound of a car driving away caught my attention. I glanced out the window and saw a cab drive away. Hn. . .Josh must have left. Whatever, not my problem. I stared at the T.V., not listening to a word of what the news reporter was talking about.  
  
"Hey Kenny, where's Max?" called Tyson's loud voice from the other room.  
  
"Don't know, ask Rei." Kenny called back. Tyson entered the t.v. room, bouncing along in his usual manner.  
  
"Hey Re-"  
  
"Don't know, don't care." I answered, viciously, though I tried to mask my anger and confusion from Tyson. Tyson stared at me for a moment before nodding slowly and turning to the door.  
  
"Kai? Kai?! Kaaaaaai?! KAAAAAAA-"  
  
"FOR CRYING OUT LOUD TYSON, TRY LOOKING FOR ME FIRST BEFORE YELLING!!!!" I smirked slightly. It was hard to get Kai angry enough to show it but Tyson was particularly skilled in this department. Tyson shrugged it off and followed Kai's voice to the kitchen.  
  
"I wouldn't have to yell if you stayed in one place!" argued Tyson. I heard the dull smack and 'ow' from Tyson as Kai ritually smacked him upside the head.  
  
"Baka! Anyways, what do you want?" I heard Tyson ask his question, then silence.  
  
"Max left with Josh. His mom is sick." My eyes widened. Was she so sick that she needed Max there. . . was she dying?!  
  
"What's she got?" asked Tyson.  
  
"Don't know. Max said he'll call in a few days." I hope Max's mum is alright. Maybe I should call him. . .NO! Don't call him! You're angry at him! You hate him! You love him! . . . .how the hell did that get in there?  
  
"Damn, I wanted to tryout my new attack in a beybattle."  
  
"Hmph, ask someone else." Was Kai's reply. Shifting my position on the couch I rested my head down. Max would be fine, he just needed to sort out his problems, that's all. Max would be fine. . .  
  
7 Hours Later. . . .  
  
As long as Rei's okay, it's worth it. As long as Rei's okay, it's worth it. As long as Rei's okay, it's worth- AGH! My mantra was interrupted as Josh bit down on my neck. Nonononononononononononono! I don't want this! 'so you'd rather Rei suffer?' asked a cold voice in my mind. Never! A sharp slap brought me back to reality as Josh hovered over me.  
  
"You weren't listening, were you?" he asked. I shook my head. Josh smirked and toyed with the cuffs that chained me to the bedposts.  
  
"I don't just want your body Max, I want your mind and soul. I want all of you. I'll make you like this, Max, just relax." He said softly as his hands worked the button on my jeans and the zipper.  
  
"No! Josh! I don't want this!" I hissed as one of his hands dug into my pants. His fingers closed around me and I moaned in spite of myself. It felt so horribly good! I wanted it to stop but never end.  
  
"Josh. . .! Nnngh!" Josh smirked as he slowly started stroking up and down my length. My body arched into the hand with avid need, though I tried to hold back. I don't care how this feels, I don't want this!  
  
"Stop! Please sto-OH!"  
  
"Let go Max, tell me what you want? Do you want me to stop?" Josh's hand paused and a soft protesting groan escaped my swollen lips. I was so close! So close! Against my will, my body tried to thrust up but the hand followed me, only tightening slightly, teasing me relentlessly.  
  
"Tell me Max. What do you want?" asked Josh as he licked at my neck. The sensation disgusted me yet made more blood rush between my legs. I gasped as he dragged his teeth down my neck.  
  
"I-I want you to stop! Josh, you're my brother!" I managed to say. Josh's eyes turned cold for a moment and he moved him self down and licked me. I nearly passed out from the pleasure rush. My words of protest died in my throat as Josh continued to lick and suck at my hardened length. My traitorous lips let soft whimpers and moans escape, making Josh smile. I was on the brink of release when he stopped.  
  
"Tell me. . ." he said, taking one last lick that dissolved my self control. I sobbed as I gave in. My lower half ached with need and desire but my mind screamed for it to stop.  
  
"P-please, don't stop." I whispered. Josh's hand started again slowly, making me thrust again, panting.  
  
"H-harder, God, harder!" I moaned. His hand sped up, and a wave of pleasure consumed me. I came with a choked cry and fell back against the bed, tears falling from my eyes. I *was* a slut. I didn't deserve to love Rei. I didn't deserve to be a bladebreaker. I didn't deserve to live. Something hard pressed against my leg and I flinched when I realized what it was. Josh kissed me lightly before smiling and taking in the sight of my flushed face.  
  
"See, I told you it'd feel good, love. Now, it's my turn." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
LITS: Er. . . . . . .  
  
Max: YOU MADE ME LIKE IT! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!!!!  
  
Adyna: Neither can she. She's still in shock that she wrote that.  
  
Rei: Remind me again why I'm pissed at Max?  
  
Adyna: Weeeeellllll, you're just really confused cause Max won't tell u what's wrong and he seems fine to you.  
  
LITS: . . . . . .Oh yeah UPDATE!!!!!!!! 


	9. Old Defenses

LITS: Sorry for the delay. Shit's come up and my depression's taken a turn for the worse. Anyways, I hope you like the chapter and have a HAPPY SECULAR, NON-DENOMINATIONS, NON-RELIGIOUS AFFILIATED, FESTIVE HOLIDAYS!!! P.s. I don't own Beyblade but I do own this! *holds up a bundle of dried sage* I'm burning this tomorrow in honor of the Goddess and the Oak King's rebirth! Enjoy the chapter!  
  
BIG THANKS AND COMMENTS TO. . . .  
  
SilveryKitsune: MmMmMmMmMmmmm. . .Jo-chicken. . .;) I love ur reviews. They always make me smile! ;) How can I thank u enough? ;D  
  
Creamy Way: I checked out ur stories and stuff and u have some *serious* talent! Keep writing!  
  
Rin Hiwatari: Good to know! ;D  
  
Evilgoddess1990: Ur super! ;D And ur not screwed up in the head. Ur the only one that's been giving me constructive criticism (though sometimes I don't like it, I appreciate it! ;D  
  
Sakura9566: ( Thanks! I'm happy you like it! I hope you like this story with all it's weird yaoi-ish twist and turns.  
  
KeenaSky: Yes, Josh *is* a bastard and deserves everything that he gets. . .except he might get away in the end! Mwahahaaaaaaaa. . . Anyways, thanks for reviewing, even if u weren't sure what to say! ;D  
  
Celria: ;) I feel for Rei. Being helpless or confused is never fun. Anyways, lookie what I made for you. *holds up an engraved chainsaw* It's for killing Josh. ;D hehehee, can u tell who saw Texas Chainsaw Massacre?  
  
Cute Dragon: One of ur fav? I'm not sure if it's *that* good! O.oU  
  
WolfSapphire200: Yeah, sorry for the bad images! O.oU I'm happy though that you'll keep reading!  
  
Lily Carroll: ;) Thanks for clearing that up. Anyways, it doesn't matter if I don't completely understand the words cause the feelings are there! *glomps* Thanks for the support!!!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"See, I told you it'd feel good, love. Now, it's my turn." ~!~!~!~  
  
I sat in the corner of my new room. I had discovered that the windows were nailed shut and the door was locked from the outside. But at the moment, all I could think about was the throbbing ache that pounded in my head and body. I wanted to not remember what had just gone on only hours before but the memories were so fresh. I could still feel Josh's hands crawling their way up my sides, touching my skin. I could feel his dick ramming into me, pounding me into the bed. It was anything but pleasurable. I shivered unconsciously and rubbed at the dark bite spots where Josh had marked me. I wanted to take a shower. No, I wanted to boil myself alive until I was the Max I used to be. I wanted to remove the deep-seated dirt that clawed at my soul. My wrists had dark circles around them from the handcuffs that I had struggled against. It hadn't helped. Nothing ever helped. 'Don't be like that. You *liked* it, Max. Don't you remember? You begged for it.' Whispered the cruel voice in my mind.  
  
"I didn't! I hated it! I didn't want it!" I protested. 'Yes you did. Remember?" I shook my head and clapped my hands over my ears.  
  
"No! Stop! God, I want to DIE!" The last part was choked off by a sob as tears fell from my eyes. Unimaginable pain was released with every tear. My suffering eased and my torture was forgotten as I sobbed into my hands. As I cried, I failed to notice the door being unlocked and opened, followed by footsteps. Warm fingers touched my arm and pulled my hands away from my face. 'Let it be Rei, please, oh please, let it be Rei! Let this just be a dream!' I pleaded as I looked up into a pair of gray eyes.  
  
"Why are you crying? You liked it." A harsh laugh escaped me when I realized what Josh was saying.  
  
"Liked it? Josh, you just had sex with me against my will and I'm supposed to have liked it?" Josh sighed and sat down across from me.  
  
"Before you left, you used to enjoy this. What's wrong with me loving you?" He asked, pulling my face up to look at me.  
  
"I never enjoyed it! I used to put up with it because there was nothing I could do! Josh, I used to love you as a brother, not as a lover. Don't do this to me, please Josh. I love Rei. " I begged. Josh's hand slipped away from my face only to return, with more force in a backhanded slap. I raised my fists to punch him but he caught them, squeezing painfully hard.  
  
"Don't lie, Max. You know the truth." He said softly. I shook my head and struggled to get out of his grip.  
  
"Please don't do this to me Josh. I don't love you like that! I love Rei and because of you he hates me!" I whimpered. Josh smirked slightly.  
  
"It's not my fault that he sees what a whore you are. Flirting with everyone and all. . .I wouldn't be surprised if you've slept with all the boys on your team." He said. I opened my mouth in protest but nothing came out. I hadn't slept with any of the boys on my team but he was right. I was such a fucking whore. . .I didn't deserve to even think of Rei.  
  
"Hm, thought so." Said Josh when I didn't answer.  
  
"I didn't-" I started, then stopped. A cold nothingness cloaked my mind, numbing my emotions. This was my way of dealing. Let Josh believe what he wanted to, what came out of my mouth didn't matter anyways.  
  
"Max, Max, Max, I can see right through you. No one knows you like I do." He said, pulling me onto his lap. I struggled slightly but his grip tightened painfully. When I stopped, he loosened one of his hands and started stroking my hair.  
  
"Why?" I asked faintly. Josh's chest rumbled with laughter.  
  
"Max, you ask that every time, don't you understand. You're mine. I can do whatever I wish with you. I love you, unlike anyone else. Rei would never understand you." I shuddered as his other hand slipped under my shirt and caressed my skin.  
  
"But you're my brother." I said, my voice barely above a whisper. I cringed as he began to kiss the back of my neck.  
  
"Does it really matter? Max, you're so beautiful, how could I resist? Such sweet, blue eyes, golden hair, creamy skin." He said, dragging his tongue up the back of my neck to prove it. I shuddered.  
  
"Someday, you'll ask me to do this to you. You'll beg for this." He sighed. My body shivered involuntarily at the thought.  
  
"Never." I hadn't realized that I had said it out loud until Josh pushed me off his lap and pinned me down. I didn't struggle, I didn't care. There was nothing pure left of me. I turned my head when he tried to kiss me. He watched me for a moment, a predatory smile on his lips.  
  
"After all we've done you still don't like me kissing you? When will you learn?" laughed Josh. He pulled my face back and kissed me. I lay motionless and unresponsive, waiting for him to finish. When he did he sighed and got up.  
  
"Max, you'll learn soon enough." He said as he got up. He smiled at me, a smile worthy of a fifty cent whore before shutting door behind him, leaving me alone in the dark with my demons. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Max: . . .fifty cent whore?  
  
LITS: Don't ask. O.oU So Max, what do u think so far?  
  
Max: I hate Josh. I hope the bastard gets run over by a truck.  
  
Adyna: That can be arranged!!!!! *pulls out typewriter and starts typing away*  
  
LITS: While Adyna's typing the next chap, look! I made you distressed Max plushies! He's got dark circles under his eyes and his hair is all messed up but he smiles if you give him a kiss on the cheek! 


	10. And back home,,,

LITS: Hello. First things first, I want to say that I'm really sorry for the super long delay. I just lost my inspiration for this story and I couldn't concentrate. I wouldn't blame you for being pissed off at me and I'm sorry but I'll try and make up for it. I'll also try and update the next chapter before I leave for vacation on Friday.  
  
sisko66002: I'm super sorry for the delay. Please forgive me?  
  
saxboy-uk: ^^ Yo Saxboy-uk, ma homie, So glad to know u like it! I checked out ur fics, very *very* kewl and different, don't stop writing! Yes, that and flattery will get you everything ^^.  
  
SilveryKitsune: *munches on popcorn* Wow, what a show ^^. I should lend you Joshua more often ^^  
  
BladeWitch DranzerSeer : ;) Of course *hands over Kai plushie*. Just pour vous^^. He pouts when you give him too much attention ^^ And the Max angstyness is only going to grow. Enjoy^^   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade , if I did, I wouldn't suck at drawing anime. Which reminds me, I drew a pic from this fic. Here's the link (and don't forget to take out the spaces): http: //www.deviantart. com/view/ 4961317/  
  
~~~In Japan~~~  
  
Rei sighed and put down his book. He had been reading it for the past hour and hadn't even gotten past the first sentence. When was Max going to call? How was his mother? Were they alright? No, I refuse to worry about that little masochist.  
  
"Bothering you, isn't it?" asked Tyson, his eyes never leaving his beyblade. Rei looked at him suspiciously.  
  
"What do you mean?" Tyson shrugged.  
  
"It's been three days and Max still hasn't called. Do you think his mother is okay?" Rei snorted.  
  
"I don't care. It's Max's business, not ours." Rei retorted dryly. Tyson frowned and looked at him.  
  
"What?! Rei, what the hell's gotten into you? You're sounding more and more like Kai every day!" Tyson said incredulously. Rei rolled his eyes.  
  
"I don't need this from you, Tyson. Just leave me alone."  
  
"Tyson, please leave. Rei and I have something to talk about." Said Kai's icy voice. Tyson glared down at Rei before leaving the room.  
  
"What do you want?" Kai sat down next to him. Rei opened his mouth to speak but the words caught in his throat. Kai's eyes held worry and fear, something he thought Kai hadn't even known.  
  
"I called Max's mother. She's not sick and she hasn't heard from Max or Josh for two days. She's filed a missing report."  
  
"What?" Kai nodded.  
  
"They're missing. Did Max say anything to you before he left?" I shook my head. I feel numb. Missing? How can Max be missing? No, he's probably doing this for attention or something. That's why he cuts and purges. For attention.  
  
"No. He's probably doing this on purpose or-" With a loud thump, I was on the floor, Kai standing over me, anger visibly etched on his face. I gingerly touched the side of my face. Kai had actually punched me?  
  
"Whatever the fuck you think he's doing, forget it! He's not doing this on purpose! Do you seriously fucking think that Max would run away?" I glared at Kai and got up.  
  
"I don't know anymore. . ."  
  
"We're talking about Max here!" I got up, god, I was so confused.  
  
"I know but. . .Kai, he does stuff to himself. He doesn't care what people think anymore." Kai's eyes softened and the anger disappeared.  
  
"Rei. You don't know the whole story. Max must have a reason or something. Wait till you see him again before jumping to conclusions. I just hope he's alright." He said before turning to leave.  
  
"But he cu-" Kai shook his head and held up a hand.  
  
"If Max wants me to know, he'll tell me when he's ready. I can wait. Maybe you should too." Said Kai. I just stood there, dumb struck, as Kai left. But, didn't he care that Max was steadily starving himself and slicing away at his arm? How could he just stand there and not do anything? I don't understand. My thoughts drifted back to Max. ** Sorry, but you'd hate me if you knew the truth, you really wouldn't understand."** I was doing what Max had feared, jumping to conclusions. God, he would never forgive me?! I feel like such an asshole! Gods, Max, please, please, come back to me. . . .~~~ ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
LITS: Sorry for the shortish chap, I'm working on the other right now. ^^ Cya. 


	11. No place like home

Li: I'm so sorry I've taken so long in updating. Life got pretty tough but now I'm finally getting out of my dark little hole and finding some peace. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.

Days crawled by on their stomach, making every painful minute last an eternity.

Max came to love Mondays, seeing as Josh had to leave to work. Sometimes, he'd

be gone for two days before coming home, drunk, angry and sex-deprived. Max

refused to eat the food that he was given until Josh literally force fed him,

then tied his hands behind his back to keep him from throwing up all over the

floor. Sometimes, Josh would bring some of his friends from work to have a

little 'fun' with his younger brother for a price. They treated him like an

object,not a human, but Max stopped caring long ago. He learned to take it

withoutmoving, screaming or crying. If he didn't stop them, then they'd get it

over with and he'd be free again. . .well. . .as free as you can be when you're

locked in a room. Adjoined to the room where Max stayed, was a bathroom with a

tub. He had to take baths after every job, not just because he wanted to, but

because his brother wouldn't get payed for pimping a dirty slut.

Max swirled his hands in the dirty water, thinking. Was he going to die here in

this hellhole? Most likely. He'd been planning an end for a while now. He would

break the window and slash his wrists with the glass. What better way? Well,

that or drown himself in the tub but he wanted his brother to have a mess to

clean up, something to do while worrying about where to get another slut. It had been three weeks. . .was Rei even looking for him? No.

All I had left was myself. . .heh. . .maybe not even that.

"Done yet?" Max didn't need to turn to know who it was. Max pulled the plug

from the bathtub and got up.

"Yes. . ." Josh frowned and touched his brother gently on the shoulder.Max

didn't even shy away.

"What's wrong with you now, Max? You don't even fight anymore." Max snorted and

grabbed a towel off the rack.

"Do you want to see your friends again?" Max froze.

"Why do you ask?" asked Max warily. Josh never offered anything unless there

was something in it for him.

"I think it'd be good for you. That and I can't stop thinking about that friend

of yours. The one with the long black hair. Can you imagine how much people

would pay for fucking a guy like him?" Max could barely believe his ears.

"You said you'd leave them alone!" argued Max. Josh grinned pervertedly and

inched a hand under Max's towel, stroking his upper thigh. Max's head bowed but

he didn't turn away. It wasn't worth the pain.

"Well, if nothing else, it'll make you more lively and probably give you more

fight for when we come back here." Said Josh. His hand rested at Max's groin

before squeezing painfully hard. Max cried out and stumbled back. Josh laughed

coldly and tossed Max some clean clothes.

"Get changed. We're going back home."

Japan

Rei was trying hard to read his book but no matter how much he concentrated on

the letters, they just didn't make sense to him right now. He put it down with a

sigh before going downstairs and into the living room.

"Have they found Max yet?" asked Rei. Tyson shook his head sadly. He had lost

most of his appetite when he found out that Max was missing. Tyson was just a

ghost of what he had once been, watching TV and sleeping. Kenny had become

almost completely absorbed with his laptop, trying to find any way to locate Max

or his brother. It turned out that Joshua had been suspended from his job due to

sexual harassment and the address he was registered under wasn't even a real

place.

Kai was sitting down next to Tyson, his arm around Tyson's waist. He hugged him

gently before getting up.

"Tyson, why don't you help Kenny make dinner." Said Kai. Tyson nodded numbly

before getting up and going into the kitchen. Rei bit his lip guiltily, his eyes

avoiding Kai's crimson ones.

". . .I guess I really messed up. . ." said Rei. "I chased him away." Rei tried

to hold back his tears but found that it was getting harder with every word.

"It's not your fault." Said Kai quietly. "I can't help but feel that it was

Joshua, not you that caused this." Rei nodded, though his eyes betrayed his

shame.

"Rei, I-" Kai started but was interrupted by the doorbell. Sighing, he turned

but was stopped by Rei.

"I'll get it, it's alright." He said, wiping away the tears. Rei went to the

door and opened it. Emily was standing outside, pale and tightlipped. She smiled

weakly, though it was easy to see that she hadn't been sleeping much.

"H-Hello Rei, I. . .me and the Allstars. . .we just wanted to. Can I come in?"

Rei nodded and let Emily inside. Her hands were clutching a basket, covered in a

blue checkered cloth. She winced when she smelled whatever Kenny was burning.

"I made muffins. I figured you'd have other things on your mind besides

cooking." Said Emily. Rei smiled and took the basket from Emily.

"Thanks. . .we haven't really been all that into cooking lately." Said Rei. Emily nodded sadly.

"Judy's been. . .very quiet. Michael has taken over her duties and such but he's having a tough time without her. We all are. None of us really know Max well in person but Judy used to talk about him a lot." Said Emily. Rei went into the kitchen, Emily behind him. He pulled back the checkered cloth to see chocolate chip muffins and a loaf of olive bread.

"Wow, thank you Emily. I didn't know you could cook." Said Rei, emptying the basket and placing all of the baked goods into a bowl. Emily grinned.

"I can't. Steve can." She said. Tyson wandered over and looked at the food before leaving. Emily watched him and sighed.

"I don't think I've ever seen him turn down food before." Emily said, looking at the doorway that he'd gone out of. "Well, I have to go. Michael is waiting outside for me in the car. I know Max will come back and he'll be all right." Emily hugged Rei before going out the door. Rei picked at a chocolate chip muffin, thinking. His eyes flicked to the basket that Emily had left behind. Grumbling, he grabbed it and opened the door. Gasping, he stepped back, shocked.

"M-Max?"


	12. The Truth

Silverykitsune: I'm happy you like my story. I was really debating whether I should have kept it going.

Lena: Thanks, it means a lot to me. 

Vampirewiccan: Yay That's good to hear.

Sangoistheverybest: Ok, where to start. I gave you a warning in the summary that if you had a problem with people being gay (aka yaoi content) then I said then you might as well not read it. Yet. . .you read it. Where the hell is your common sense? And if you went ahead and read up to 3rd chapter and found that you didn't like it, why did you keep reading? Are you stupid or do you like getting chewed out? Honestly, and you call me a moron. Just because you have homophobia issues, doesn't mean you need to leave rude, unconstructive comments. Fuck off. Don't read my bloody story if you don't like it.

Blackfire15: I hope I don't disappoint you. 

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing remotely beyblade, though I wouldn't mind kidnapping Tala.

PREVIOUS CHAPTER: "I don't think I've ever seen him turn down food before." Emily said, looking at the doorway that he'd gone out of. "Well, I have to go. Michael is waiting outside for me in the car. I know Max will come back and he'll be all right." Emily hugged Rei before going out the door. Rei picked at a chocolate chip muffin, thinking. His eyes flicked to the basket that Emily had left behind. Grumbling, he grabbed it and opened the door. Gasping, he stepped back, shocked.

"M-Max?"

Max watched Emily go into the house. Sighing, he shouldered his bag, wincing when it rubbed against a sensitive bruise. Josh had dropped him off here and told him that he'd be back by tomorrow.

A grim smile graced his features. His brother would be in for an interesting surprise when he came back here tomorrow. He'd stolen Josh's pocket knife before they'd left Josh's home.

The rumble of a car engine signaled that Emily was leaving and jolted him from his thoughts. Taking a deep breath, he went up the stairs to the door. His finger hovered over the doorbell for a moment, wondering if this was really a good idea when the door opened. Rei stared at him in shock for a moment before dropping the basket in his hands and sweeping him into a tight hug.

"Oh god. . .i thought I'd never see you again." Whispered Rei, his voice thick with emotion. Max smiled slightly but his eyes were emotionless.

"I. .I missed you." He murmmered. Rei pulled him into the house where he was jumped by Kenny and Tyson. Kai watched them from the doorway, though even he couldn't hold back a relieved smile.

"Were you kidnapped? Where's your brother?" asked Tyson. Max laughed softly.

"No, I went and he didn't force me to do anything." Said Max, lying easily. Rei's eyes studied him, sensing something different about him. Max's face was pale and the skin under his eyes were dark. He winced when people touched him and he avoided questions about Josh.

"Guys, I'm really sorry I caused you so much trouble and worry, but I'm really tired. Can I go to sleep?" asked Max.

"Sure, I'll come with you." Said Rei. Max stared at him for a moment before nodding slowly. Max got up and went with Rei upstairs.

". . .Max, I need to apologize. For what happened before you left." Said Rei when they reached their room. Max smiled and shook his head.

"It's in the past, Rei. I. . .can you just hold me." Rei wrapped his arms around Max's waist, holding him gently. He rested his chin on Max's head, closing his eyes. Emotion welled up inside of Max, making him hug Rei tighter. There was no way he could kill himself and leave Rei to Joshua.

"Rei, I love you." Said Max quietly. "And that's why you need to know everything. " Max explained everything, somehow detatching his emotions from his story as he shared it. Rei listened, silent either from courtesy or shock, Max couldn't tell. When he was done, he couldn't bring himself to look Rei in the eyes. The bed dipped under Rei's weight as he sat down next to Max.

". . .have you told anyone?" asked Rei. Max shook his head. Rei wrapped his arms around Max's waist and buryed his face in Max's neck.

"He won't hurt you again, I swear it." He said coldly. Max smiled grimly.

"No. . .he won't." Rei smiled weakly and kissed his cheek.

"We need to report this to the police." Said Rei. Max shook his head, hugging Rei tightly.

"No. . not today. I'm. .I'm just not ready." Said Max. "Just. . .lie down with me, I'm really tired?" Max pulled Rei down next to him and kissed his forehead before closing his eyes. Rei's eyes took in Max's relaxed face before kissing him softly and going to sleep as well.


	13. Drown

Weevilsprincess: Thank you so much. I'm happy that you've actually read the story and had compliments. I'm sorry if I was harsh in my flame to you but I don't tolerate homophobia or

Fifi mcfu: Heh, it takes practice. I have almost no talent in the comedy departement. I love to laugh but I'm not much of a comedian.

Chaos Maiden:D Thank you so much for your compliments I truly appreciate them.

Celria: Long time no talkies I know I've slowed down a lot but I've just been rather busy.

Kinkyme: Lol, I'm not a genius. I'm just a stickler for angst.  Thanks for the wonderful compliments

Sadistic Suicidal Teen:D Thank you!

K.c: I definetly want to finish this story, but I've just been busy. I like how it's come out so far. . .hopefully I can give it a good ending.

Yazzy: Lol, here it is.

Lil fighter for good: . . .you. . are scary in a goofy way. Keep writing ;)

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. . .actually, that's a lie. I own a waterbottle and a book on origami but that's about all I can think of at the moment. I don't own my dog. . he owns me.

"No. . not today. I'm. .I'm just not ready." Said Max. "Just. . .lie down with me, I'm really tired." Max pulled Rei down next to him and kissed his forehead before closing his eyes. Rei's eyes took in Max's relaxed face before kissing him softly and going to sleep as well.

Max's POV

I woke up a couple of hours later to the darkened room. It was cool and I felt somewhat safe here. I knew, however that it wouldn't be safe for long. Josh would be coming to pick me up and possibly Rei. There was no way I could let that happen. My eyes fell on my bag. One of the boys must have brought it up after we'd fallen asleep. I got out of bed quietly and rummaged through my bag. After a moment of searching, I pulled out Josh's pocketknife and snapped it open. The blade had to be at least five inches. The shine of cold metal tempted me to lose myself in it's painful release.

Glancing back at Rei to make sure he was still asleep, I brought the blade down onto my wrist and dragged it quickly against the pale, scar riddled skin. I winced as the blade grated against a particularly deep scar. A gasp escaped my lips as the knife successfully sliced through to the newly healed skin. Blood welled up along my wrist and dripped onto the wood floor. I watched it, hypnotized as it formed a small puddle on the ground. In my morbid trance, I dipped a finger into the blood and brought it to my lips, licking my finger clean. After a moment, I brought the wound to my mouth and lapped at the wound messily.

The tang of iron filled my mouth and a small drop dribbled down to my chin. I didn't have to look in a mirror to know that my lips were dyed a deep, wet red. Vaguely sane thoughts flitted over my mind, fretting over how i'd clean up all this mess and explain the blood covering my face but they faded as the numbness that came with cutting swept over me. I smiled grimly before dropping my arm to my side. I was ready to die.

Picking up the knife, I slashed more deep cuts into my arm, relishing in the pain and the numbness that followed it. After my left arm had no more space, I switched the blade to my left hand and clumsily started on my right arm.

When i was satisfied that the cuts were deep enough and that there was no turning back, i went to Rei's side. I kissed his cheek softly, raising a bloodied hand to touch the dark skin. I'd do anything to protect him. I still loved him with all my heart but there was no way that i could stop Josh. I wasn't strong enough and i wasn't smart enough. To my surprise, a sob escaped my lips. Tears fell from my eyes as the numbness began to fade. I was such a failure. I was never good for anything but a cheap fuck. I hated that the only way that i felt was if I was bleeding.

I glanced at Rei's still form with a detached sorrow. I couldn't let Josh kidnap him. I leaned down and kissed him softly before raising the knife over my head and closing my eyes. Taking a shivering breath, I brought it down fast; felt it bury hilt deep into something solid and firm.

"I'm sorry, Rei. I'm not strong enough. . I never was or will be." I whispered before turning my back to him and stumbling out of the room, down the stairs and out the door.

Max stumbled away from the house, his head spinning slightly as droplets of blood fell from his fingers. Stupid, stupid boy. His dull blue eyes looked up at the sky above him. So dark and so clear. He couldn't remember the last time the night sky had been so clear. He laughed softly, not even fully sure what he found so funny.

Looking around himself, he realized he was back at the park where he had had to excersize with the rest of his team before passing out. He smiled slightly, crouching down beside a smooth, metal beydish. There was a soft pang of noise ever so often, catching Max's attention. He looked down, seeing his blood streak the side of the beydish before pooling down in the middle.

This is it. . .this'll be the end of all that pain. I've freed Rei. . no one can hurt him now. I hope you forgive me someday, Rei, I love you so much. . Max slid down the side of the beydish to lie down in the dip, his eyes looking up at the stars. He smiled faintly, vaguely happy that no one could hurt them anymore before closing his eyes and drifting to sleep.

Tyson yawned absently, getting out of bed to go brush his teeth. He rubbed at his eyes groggily before fumbling for his toothbrush and toothpaste. It took him a moment to realize he was using Kai's toothbrush and Rei's toothpaste but he was honestly too tired to care and. . well. . what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them. . .

". . .Tyson. If that's my toothbrush, I'm scrubbing the toilet with yours." Growled Kai from the doorway. Tyson gasped, inhaling a good amount of toothpaste before washing the brush off real fast. "heh, . . um. . I think I'm going to go wake up Kenny and Rei." He grinned sheepishly and wandered off down the hall. Kai sighed and washed his toothbrush off again before starting to brush his own teeth. A scream burst from Rei's room, making Kai spit out his mouthful of toothpaste and run to where the scream was. Kenny looked shell-shocked, the scream being his, while Tyson looked like he was going to be sick. Blood spilled over the mattress and floor, dark and just barely beginning to dry, but the worse was Rei. Bloodied handprints were on the mattress around him, blood speckling his face. Pinning him to the bed was a long pocket-knife, thrust through his long bound hair into the bed. Rei's eyes were screwed tightly shut, shivers running through the neko-jin as he struggled not to scream like Kenny had.

It took a moment for Kai to snap back to his senses, moving forward to pull the knife from Rei's hair.

"Who. . where the hell is Max?" asked Kai quietly. Rei shook his head, having no clue. Tyson took a deep breath, closing his eyes.

". . .we. . could always follow the blood trail." He murmered, his face almost green from the urge to vomit. Kai nodded, trying his best to keep his mind clear.

"Ok. . Kenny, call 911, Tyson, Rei, let's go find Max." said Kai quickly. The two boys nodded, getting up and following him. They all followed the trail of blood; it was all to easy to find.

"So much blood, you don't think. . he's. . ." Rei moaned in distress at Tyson's words.

"I just hope it's not his brother. He. . he told me that his brother was raping him. I wanted to call the police but he said no. I. . .oh god, please, please let him be alright." Begged Rei softly. When the three boys came to the beydish, Tyson turned away, unable to stop himself as his stomach heaved. Rei broke down, tears coming to his eyes as he saw Max's pale, limp body. Kai simply froze. He'd seen gore before but this was something he was not used to. A friend lying in his own blood, his arms mutilated, yet, a vague smile on his lips.

None of them knew how long it took for the police and ambulance to come but it seemed like an eternity. When it finally did, the medics muttered amongst themselves but not giving any of the boys any information.

"Please, tell me he'll live?" begged Rei, grabbing onto a medic's arm and not letting go. The man sighed and shook his head.

"He's just about dried out. He'll most likely die within a few hours." Rei backed away, his eyes wide and empty.

"No. . please. . tell me he'll live?" whispered Rei. The medic smiled sadly.

"Why don't you go with your friends, young man? I need to get going." Rei nodded absently before going to Kai's side. He trembled gently as tears fell from his eyes, as abundant as Max's blood was.

"Please, God, please. . ."


End file.
